Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Hey, girls, let's talk

Remember that, okay?
I've been watching too many of my friends ripping themselves apart, too many strangers checking themselves in the mirror. I've heard too many freshman asking me quietly if I thought they were pretty, too many boys making rude comments about a girl's hair or clothes or face. I walked into the bathroom at a debate tournament to find a girl crying; at the next tournament, there was one hiding in a hallway, crying. Crying, crying, crying, all because they didn't think they were good enough.
And I've checked the mirror too many times. I've searched for that compliment, I've turned to the boy I knew would give it. And guess what? It's not needed. Not for me, not for you. 
No girl should be fourteen and crying in the bathroom. No girl should be any age and crying in the bathroom. No boy should be dragged down by the stupid, petty comments people make. It's not cool, it's not okay, and it's so not needed. 
And it's worse with creative people. I've noticed something about writers -- and specifically, teens that write. There are these moments -- these really dark moments. We all seem to get them. They are everywhere. Where the world seems too small, too bleak. Where we aren't good enough. And then, we're the girl or the guy with the problem. Luckily, there are enough people to pull us out, and luckily, most of us can pull ourselves out. But those moments still lurk. 
You know. Those moments. The stupid ones that refuse to go away.
And that's normal.
But dwelling on it is bad. So let's not dwell. We know we're worth it, right? Even in the darkest moments, we need to remember that. The bathroom is not the place to cry. 
We're better than this, y'all. All of us, guys and girls alike. The little stuff isn't worth it, and the big stuff will work its way out. And someday, it'll make a good story to tell.
(And yes. I promise, I will have book reviews up soon.) (Not that I don't mean everything I posted. I totally do.)
Anyways. More later.


Kendra Logan said...

Great post. I agree about the creative type thing. I never really thought about it, but I can definitely see that pattern, especially in myself.


Anonymous said...

I like your post, i agree with all you said, and i was crying in the bathroom often. But one day i tell that to a friend and he helps me and make me forgot why i was crying.He don't know but i love him because he makes me believe in myself :)

Karen said...
Everyone should go to this site!
WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. You are enough... just the way you are!

Abby Minard said...

What a great post Sam. We all need to be reminded of this every once in a while. I think we all are "that girl" or "that boy" at some point in our lives. We still get those moments even in our adults years, but hopefully previous moments have helped us to recover faster, and not cry (as long) in the bathroom (at work). And yes it does make for good stories to tell your children when they find themselves crying in the bathroom.

GreenBeanTeenQueen said...

There's always something with creative types-I think we tend to take things more dramatically and to heart and are often more emotional.

You are beautiful Sam and never forget it! You're one of the most awesome teens I know!!

Sam said...

Kendra: Thanks. :P And I know, right? I see the pattern in me, too. Blah.

Anonymous: Talking to friends do make things better. :P It really is amazing. :D

Karen: Zomg, I love that site! I seriously wish we would all remember that. :P

Abby: Thanks! "That" moment always sucks so badly -- I guess it makes us stronger, though. :P And it's probably healthy to decompress every once in a while, I suppose.

Sarah: <3 Thank you. :P You are so totally the best librarian ever.

Aspen said...

Aww Sam you are so awesome. I wish I had been as smart as you are when I was sixteen. I was THAT girl ALL the time. But that's why I started writing, so I guess that's a good thing.

And I totally agree with Abby, those moments don't go away, but we tend not to dwell on them as long. Just like heartbreak, it gets easier every time! or maybe it's just because as you get older, time seems to go three times faster than you remembered, and you have much more to do so you're always busy, or maybe that's just me... *sigh*


Sam said...

Aspen: Thanks! :P Lol, I try not to dwell -- you're right, staying busy helps. I pretty much am always running around, so that kind of keeps my head clear and my feet on the ground.
And that is a very good thing--the writing stuff, I mean. <3 It's funny how awesome just putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys) can be.

Cipherqueen said...

:)Yay for operation beautiful!

I'm thankful for never worrying about that too much... though my mom thinks it's a bad thing. So I just tell the world I'm vain, but that I prefer the term "extreme self-love".

Besides, who can stay sad when there's chocolate in the world?

(Someday I'll make a huge post with chocolate pictures. Promise.)